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The Woman's Guide to How Men Think: Love, Commitment, and the Male Mind, by Shawn T. Smith PsyD
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A Woman's Guide to How Men Think offers a practical, humorous, yet compassionate guide for women who want to learn the secrets of the elusive male mind. With author Shawn Smith's trademark humor, you'll come to understand why men think and see the world the way they do, and how to work with men to cultivate understanding and communication in relationships, without expecting men to be creatures that they are not. This isn't a male-bashing book about how men should be more like women, but a book about how men actually are, and how women can use this understanding to get what they need from their relationships.
You'll also learn why men often feel frustrated and criticized, how to deal with lack of communication in ways that don't put men on the defensive, and how being curious and compassionate (while not accepting disrespectful or abusive behavior) instead of dismissing men for their inherently male traits can lead to greater understanding between the sexes.
The plain truth is that both men and women are from planet earth. But that doesn't mean we are the same. If you are looking for an insider's guide to the ever-elusive male mind, this is the book for you.
Shawn Smith is a psychologist in Denver, Colorado. He blogs at ironshrink.com.
- Sales Rank: #1070415 in Books
- Published on: 2014-02-02
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .50" w x 5.51" l, .58 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 208 pages
Review
“The war of the sexes is historical, and methods of creating peace are plentiful, but few work well. In The Women's Guide to How Men Think, the author, a man, offers women a code to male thinking that could bring an end to this war, if embraced. Readable, practical, and wise, I recommend this book to all women who want to understand men and to all men who would like a better understanding of themselves.”
—Harville Hendrix, PhD, author of Getting the Love You Want and coauthor of Making Marriage Simple
“If you are lost in translation when you are trying to communicate with your man, this is the go-to guide for you. Smith provides a wonderfully clear understanding of the relational disconnect that plagues many relationships. In reader-friendly language, he presents sound and positive strategies to help struggling couples. It is an invaluable resource!”
—Carolyn Daitch, PhD, author of Anxious in Love
.“At first glance, A Woman’s Guide to How Men Think suggests a twenty-first century version of John Gray’s classic, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus; however, rather than focus on men at their worst, Shawn Smith writes about what he terms ‘good men.’ As a therapist who promotes secure-functioning relationships, I find his premise—that there are men willing and able to love and commit in relationships—refreshing. Readers of both genders should find this book sheds new light on many of the age-old dilemmas of pair bonding.”
—Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT
“Shawn Smith’s book is not only notable for its helpful contents, but also for the way in which he opens his heart and mind as an authentic, personal ambassador of the good men he represents. In every chapter he gently but firmly builds upon his basic premises: women can master the tools to get more of what they need from their men, guys are relatively easy to love if women don’t expect them to be like them, and women and men need each other’s core contributions if they want to create the ultimate fulfillment each of them deserves. In a unique blend of substantial research, humor, and a strong conviction in what he believes in, Smith delivers his story in a manner that is easy to embrace.”
—Randi Gunther, PhD, author of Relationship Saboteurs
“We have always known that men and women think differently, and now that difference is brought to light in an uplifting, easy-to-read guide to understanding how the male mind actually works. Smith has given women the gift of how to really get to know the man they love, and how to love him more.”
—Barton Goldsmith, PhD, author of The Happy Couple
“Shawn Smith has written a powerful primer for modern women who have not been schooled in gender differences. The Woman’s Guide to How Men Think takes a gentle approach to helping women understand what makes men tick—which will, in turn, help women find the love they seek.”
—Suzanne Venker, author and cultural critic
“Shawn Smith’s book provides a wonderful service in helping women understand men. He weaves together research, clinical experience, and personal experience in a clear, accessible way. I will recommend this book to clients and students, as he is able to highlight the influence of gender without stereotyping or being simplistic. Smith shows us how to avoid the trap of resentment that comes with misunderstanding, and gives thoughtful and practical examples that can improve relationships.”
—Shelly Smith-Acuña, PhD, author of Systems Theory in Action and dean of the graduate school of professional psychology at the University of Denver
“I can’t think of another self-help book I’ve enjoyed reading so much. It’s rare to find one that is not only scientifically-based and incredibly practical, but also laced with humor. Chocablock full of fascinating insights into male psychology, this book provides an honest, realistic, and effective pathway for improving and enriching your closest relationships.”
—Russ Harris, author of The Happiness Trap
"Shawn Smith does not apologize for male traits, nor does he try to change them. Instead, he reveals what they mean to women who want a better relationship with the man who possesses those traits. This book walks female readers through the male mind, and helps them understand how to be more empathetic and connected to the man they love. This book teaches that men’s behavior and love is not better or worse, just different. Acknowledging the difference is what makes this guide a gem.”
—Helen Smith, PhD, author of Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream—and Why It Matters and forensic psychologist in Knoxville, TN
“Smith is a brilliant writer who explains the mysteries of the male mind with intelligence, compassion, and humor. His well-researched book is a compelling guide that provides a better understanding of men and will result in improved relationships. This is a must-read for every woman.”
—Michelle Skeen, PsyD, radio show host and author of The Critical Partner
About the Author
Shawn T. Smith, PsyD, is a psychologist in private practice in Denver, CO. He is author of the book The User's Guide to the Human Mind, and writes a blog at ironshrink.com. Smith enjoys various manly activities, including being a husband and father. He lives with his wife and daughter, and their dog.
Most helpful customer reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Deep down inside, men are adorable :)
By moonflowers
After a very painful, short relationship full of misunderstandings a few years ago, I decided that I sure didn't know enough about men and their feelings, and as a straight woman who wants to date and be in relationships with men, I had to fix that.
I read everything I could online about men's emotions (subtle but deep!) and the ground rules men operate on in relationships. Some sources were more useful than others - for instance, "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man" gets some things right in terms of men being motivated by protection of those they love, but is also a bit too cynical about how men feel regarding sex IMO.
I was eager to read Shawn T. Smith's book because I'd seen his postings on Psychology Today regarding his surveys of men and women about the opposite sex. He delivered on the survey results and more, putting them into context and expanding them into a detailed explanation of what makes men tick.
Most importantly, he elucidates how women's misunderstandings of that can inadvertently make relationship problems worse - errors that I and some girlfriends of mine have definitely committed with men we love before! It's especially heartrending when you read what the mens' rationales were, and discover that though it's very different from what you'd do in that situation, it ultimately is driven by a noble, self-sacrificial, respectful, stoic kind of love. Deep down inside, men are simply adorable, like the quote from the book in which a man says that "we are the expendable half of the species."
I think it's especially sad if a woman and a man both come into a relationship trying to do their best by each other, but fail to understand their respective relationship mindsets, only to have their attempts at showing love backfire and leave them both hurt and feeling lonely and sad. Don't be that girl/guy - read this book!
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Best "man answered" book yet!
By melody e long
I've been reading up on relationships and men since I just came out of a 28yr marriage. I'm happier than I have ever been. But I was ready to explore the possibility of a new relationship, so since being with one man for so very long, I wanted to try and understand them all better. This book knocked it out of the park for me! Very, very informative, logical and well written. Buy this book! It could very well help every single lady who takes the time to read it! Thank you so very much Shawn Smith! Kudos! Also...thank you so much to your editor, well done!
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
To get to a part where I didn't think 'Well ...
By DesertDweller
To get to a part where I didn't think 'Well, duh" or "I already understand this' was roughly between pages 59 & 77. After that, a general help was found. However, the title should read 'The Men's Guide...' as the book would help men far more to understand their gender. [There were a few paragraphs spread throughout some chapters specifically for men.]
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